Monday, 22 October 2012
Film Synopsis - Final Draft
I have re-evaluated my synopsis draft and have adjusted accordingly.
An adolescent boy, Dale, is standing in his room. He inserts an ear piercing into his lobe. He stares at himself in the mirror. He takes it out and puts it on his bedside table. His phone rings the text tone and he turns and looks at it, not moving for it. He stands, picks up the phone and leaves the room. There are people in the living room of a house, bottles of alcohol and birthday cards visible and there is a dubstep track playing in background, muffled by voices. There is casual party talk. A group of similarly aged boys are sitting around, one in a pink shirt, Ash. One of the people in his group, Gary, says to him "That shirt is so Joe Bailey", others says "ooooh" in unity, Ash lightly punches Gary on the arm as he laughs. Dale is now standing at the base of the staircase, he reaches down and looks at his phone. The text on screen reads "I'll be there soon baby -J xxx”.
“Hey Dale,” shouts Gary, “Look at what Ash bought in New Look!”
Ash replies with “What’s up man, you got a crush on me or something?”
Gary says “Yeah totally” and jumps on Ash.
Dale looks over his shoulder to the kitchen and glances at his parents, conversing at the kitchen table.
Dale turns back around and aggressively calls “Hey guys, cut it out”
Gary dismounts Ash and says “Woah, calm dude, take a beer” and offers Dale one.
“Wait, lets ask the Birthday Boy, what do you think of his t-shirt? Too Joe Bailey?” asks Gary.
Dale just stares for a few seconds, visibly looking for words but is interrupted by a knock at the door. Opening the door he meets Joe who hands him a cleanly wrapped present. Dale takes the present and smiles and offers for him to come inside, Joe takes his shoes off. Joe walks in ahead of Dale and the tone of the party changes almost immediately. People are still talking and appearing to have a good time, but there are hushed whispers and occasional staring.
As he walks into room a girl, Steph, say politely “Hey Joe,” to which he nods and smiles.
Joe pushes for Dale to open the present. Dale smiles and starts unwrapping it. A few people in the party have turned to watch. Gary and Ash have moved closer in to see what's going on. The present is unwrapped and there are a brand new pair of italian style leather shoes in the box. We see Joe look around nervously, sticking close to Dale as he looks at the shoes.
“Oooh aren’t they pretty,” Gary comments.
Joe grabs Dales arm and leans in to ask him what he thinks. Gary steps forward and pushes him off. The people surrounding them laugh slightly and turn to each other smiling.
"What do you think you're doing, fruitcake?" he taunts as a semi circle forms around them and Ash steps forward, closing the teen boy in.
Jo, backed against a wall just looks at the ground. Gary reaches forward grabs Joe by the throat and slaps him in the face, to which a few people look taken aback. Amongst the shock there is a quiet laugh in the crowd. Dale has a very shocked look on his face and has his mouth open slightly.
"I'm talking to you, faggot, answer me!" he shouts, more aggressively. Joe just looks down again and whimpers.
"Leave him alone, Gary," A girl in the crowd, Steph, shouts.
Dale is taken aback, on the edge of the semi circle just staring. The teen boy turns his head to look at Dale and their eyes meet. Dale walks forward, looking rather aggressive, people are staring and not understanding what he's going to do. He pushes Gary out of the way and Ash takes a step backwards. Joe has his arms at his side and Dale grabs them.
He leans in close and says "maybe you should just leave".
Joe closes his eyes for a second and says "Is that what you really want?". Dale sighs and pushes him through the door. As Joe bends down to put his shoes on, Dale closes his eyes and shuts the door behind them. In the background you see Steph step forward towards Gary and have a go at him.
“Was that really necessary, you’re such an asshole, it’s not as if he’s any different, why base what you think of him on his preferences? You’d have no fucking problem with a lesbian, would you?”
Dale opens his eyes and lifts his head. He puts his hand on Joe’s shoulder, “Joe... Stay” He says softly.
Jo stands up and looks him in the eye. Dale grabs his hand and they walk back through the door, holding hands. They walk through the door, the room goes quiet and everyone just stares at the pair holding hands.
Film Synopsis - Fourth Draft
I have re-evaluated my synopsis draft and have adjusted accordingly.
An adolescent boy, Dale, is standing in his room. He inserts an ear piercing into his lobe. He stares at himself in the mirror. He takes it out and puts it on his bedside table. His phone rings the text tone and he turns and looks at it, not moving for it. He stands, picks up the phone and leaves the room. There are people in the living room of a house, bottles of alcohol and birthday cards visible and there is a dubstep track playing in background, muffled by voices. There is casual party talk. A group of similarly aged boys are sitting around, one in a pink shirt, Ash. One of the people in his group, Gary, says to him "That shirt is so Joe Bailey", others says "ooooh" in unity, Ash lightly punches Gary on the arm as he laughs. Dale is now standing at the base of the staircase, he reaches down and looks at his phone. The text on screen reads "I'll be there soon baby -J xxx”.
“Hey Dale,” shouts Gary, “Look at what Ash bought in New Look!”
Ash replies with “What’s up man, you got a crush on me or something?”
Gary says “Yeah totally” and jumps on Ash.
Dale looks over his shoulder to the kitchen and glances at his parents, conversing at the kitchen table.
Dale turns back around and aggressively calls “Hey guys, cut it out” Gary dismounts Ash and says “Woah, calm dude, take a beer” and offers Dale one. Dale takes it but there is a knock at the door. Opening the door he meets Joe who hands him a cleanly wrapped present. Dale takes the present and smiles and offers for him to come inside, Joe takes his shoes off. Joe walks in ahead of Dale and the tone of the party changes almost immediately. People are still talking and appearing to have a good time, but there are hushed whispers and occasional staring. Joe pushes for Dale to open the present. Dale smiles and starts unwrapping it. A few people in the party have turned to watch. Gary and Ash have moved closer in to see what's going on. The present is unwrapped and there are a brand new pair of italian style leather shoes in the box. We see Joe look around nervously, sticking close to Dale as he looks at the shoes. Joe takes a step towards Dale and leans in to ask him what he thinks. Gary steps forward and pushes him off. The people surrounding them laugh slightly and turn to each other smiling.
"What do you think you're doing, fruitcake?" he taunts as a semi circle forms around them and Ash steps forward, closing the teen boy in.
Jo, backed against a wall just looks at the ground. Gary reaches forward grabs Joe by the throat and slaps him in the face, to which a few people look taken aback. Amongst the shock there is a quiet laugh in the crowd. Dale has a very shocked look on his face and has his mouth open slightly.
"I'm talking to you, faggot, answer me!" he shouts, more aggressively. Joe just looks down again and whimpers.
"Leave him alone, Gary," A girl in the crowd, Steph, shouts. Dale is taken aback, on the edge of the semi circle just staring. The teen boy turns his head to look at Dale and their eyes meet. Dale walks forward, looking rather aggressive, people are staring and not understanding what he's going to do. He pushes Gary out of the way and Ash takes a step backwards. Joe has his arms at his side and Dale grabs them. He leans in close and says "maybe you should just leave".
Joe closes his eyes for a second and says "Is that what you really want?". Dale sighs and pushes him through the door. As Joe bends down to put his shoes on, Dale closes his eyes and shuts the door behind them. In the background you see a girl, Steph, step forward towards Gary and have a go at him.
“Was that really necessary, you’re such an asshole, it’s not as if he’s any different, why base what you think of him on his preferences? You’d have no fucking problem with a lesbian, would you?”
Dale opens his eyes and lifts his head. He puts his hand on Joe’s shoulder, “Joe... Stay” He says softly.
Jo stands up and looks him in the eye. Dale grabs his hand and they walk back through the door, holding hands. They walk through the door, the room goes quiet and everyone just stares at the pair holding hands.
An adolescent boy, Dale, is standing in his room. He inserts an ear piercing into his lobe. He stares at himself in the mirror. He takes it out and puts it on his bedside table. His phone rings the text tone and he turns and looks at it, not moving for it. He stands, picks up the phone and leaves the room. There are people in the living room of a house, bottles of alcohol and birthday cards visible and there is a dubstep track playing in background, muffled by voices. There is casual party talk. A group of similarly aged boys are sitting around, one in a pink shirt, Ash. One of the people in his group, Gary, says to him "That shirt is so Joe Bailey", others says "ooooh" in unity, Ash lightly punches Gary on the arm as he laughs. Dale is now standing at the base of the staircase, he reaches down and looks at his phone. The text on screen reads "I'll be there soon baby -J xxx”.
“Hey Dale,” shouts Gary, “Look at what Ash bought in New Look!”
Ash replies with “What’s up man, you got a crush on me or something?”
Gary says “Yeah totally” and jumps on Ash.
Dale looks over his shoulder to the kitchen and glances at his parents, conversing at the kitchen table.
Dale turns back around and aggressively calls “Hey guys, cut it out” Gary dismounts Ash and says “Woah, calm dude, take a beer” and offers Dale one. Dale takes it but there is a knock at the door. Opening the door he meets Joe who hands him a cleanly wrapped present. Dale takes the present and smiles and offers for him to come inside, Joe takes his shoes off. Joe walks in ahead of Dale and the tone of the party changes almost immediately. People are still talking and appearing to have a good time, but there are hushed whispers and occasional staring. Joe pushes for Dale to open the present. Dale smiles and starts unwrapping it. A few people in the party have turned to watch. Gary and Ash have moved closer in to see what's going on. The present is unwrapped and there are a brand new pair of italian style leather shoes in the box. We see Joe look around nervously, sticking close to Dale as he looks at the shoes. Joe takes a step towards Dale and leans in to ask him what he thinks. Gary steps forward and pushes him off. The people surrounding them laugh slightly and turn to each other smiling.
"What do you think you're doing, fruitcake?" he taunts as a semi circle forms around them and Ash steps forward, closing the teen boy in.
Jo, backed against a wall just looks at the ground. Gary reaches forward grabs Joe by the throat and slaps him in the face, to which a few people look taken aback. Amongst the shock there is a quiet laugh in the crowd. Dale has a very shocked look on his face and has his mouth open slightly.
"I'm talking to you, faggot, answer me!" he shouts, more aggressively. Joe just looks down again and whimpers.
"Leave him alone, Gary," A girl in the crowd, Steph, shouts. Dale is taken aback, on the edge of the semi circle just staring. The teen boy turns his head to look at Dale and their eyes meet. Dale walks forward, looking rather aggressive, people are staring and not understanding what he's going to do. He pushes Gary out of the way and Ash takes a step backwards. Joe has his arms at his side and Dale grabs them. He leans in close and says "maybe you should just leave".
Joe closes his eyes for a second and says "Is that what you really want?". Dale sighs and pushes him through the door. As Joe bends down to put his shoes on, Dale closes his eyes and shuts the door behind them. In the background you see a girl, Steph, step forward towards Gary and have a go at him.
“Was that really necessary, you’re such an asshole, it’s not as if he’s any different, why base what you think of him on his preferences? You’d have no fucking problem with a lesbian, would you?”
Dale opens his eyes and lifts his head. He puts his hand on Joe’s shoulder, “Joe... Stay” He says softly.
Jo stands up and looks him in the eye. Dale grabs his hand and they walk back through the door, holding hands. They walk through the door, the room goes quiet and everyone just stares at the pair holding hands.
Friday, 12 October 2012
Film Synopsis: Third Draft
I have re-evaluated my synopsis draft and have adjusted accordingly.
An adolescent boy, Dale, is sitting on his bed looking at his phone. Text on screen reads "I'll be there soon baby -J xxx”. He stands and leaves the room. There are people in the living room of a house, bottles of alcohol and birthday cards visible and there is a dubstep track playing in background, muffled by voices. There is casual party talk. A group of similarly aged boys are sitting around, one in a pink shirt, Ash. One of the people in his group, Gary, says to him "That shirt is so Joe Bailey", others says "ooooh" in unity, Ash lightly punches Gary on the arm as he laughs. Dale is now standing just in the door way, looking over at the boys.
“Hey Dale,” shouts Gary, “Look at what Ash bought in New Look!”
Ash replies with “What’s up man, you got a crush on me or something?”
Gary says “Yeah totally” and jumps on Ash.
Dale looks over his shoulder to the kitchen and glances at his parents, conversing at the kitchen table.
Dale turns back around and aggressively calls “Hey guys, cut it out”
Gary dismounts Ash and says “Woah, calm dude, take a beer” and offers Dale one. Dale takes it but there is a knock at the door. Opening the door he meets Joe who hands him a present wrapped cleanly. Dale takes the present and smiles and offers for him to come inside, Joe takes his shoes off. Joe walks in ahead of Dale and the tone of the party changes almost immediately. People are still talking and appearing to have a good time, but there are hushed whispers and occasional staring. We see Joe look around nervously, sticking close to Dale as he socialises with the group of boys mentioned previously. Dale hands Joe a beer and he just holds it, looking around the room. Joe appears to feeling very nervous and Dale keeps looking over, realising that this is happening. Joe takes a step towards Dale and goes to grab his arm. Gary steps forward and pushes him off.
"What do you think you're doing, fruitcake?" he taunts as a semi circle forms around them and Ash steps forward, closing the teen boy in.
Jo, backed against a wall just looks at the ground. Gary reaches forward and slaps him in the face and a few people look taken aback, but there is a quiet laugh in the crowd. Dale has a very shocked look on his face and has his mouth open slightly.
"I'm talking to you, faggot, answer me!" he shouts, more aggressively. Joe just looks down again and whimpers. The people surrounding them laugh slightly and turn to each other smiling. Dale is taken aback, on the edge of the semi circle just staring. The teen boy turns his head to look at Dale and their eyes meet. Dale walks forward, looking rather aggressive, people are staring and not understanding what he's going to do. He pushes Gary out of the way and Ash takes a step backwards. Joe has his arms at his side and Dale grabs them.
He leans in close and says "maybe you should just leave".
Joe closes his eyes for a second and says "Is that what you really want?". Dale sighs and pushes him through the door. As Joe bends down to put his shoes on, Dale closes his eyes and shuts the door behind them. In the background you see a girl, Steph, step forward towards Gary and have a go at him.
“Was that really necessary, you’re such an asshole, it’s not as if he’s any different, why base what you think of him on his preferences? You’d have no fucking problem with a lesbian, would you?”
Dale opens his eyes and lifts his head. He puts his hand on Joe’s shoulder, “Joe... Stay” He says softly.
Jo stands up and looks him in the eye. Dale grabs his hand and they walk back through the door, holding hands. They walk through the door, the room goes quiet and everyone just stares at the pair holding hands.
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
Film Synopsis - Second Draft
I have re-evaluated my first synopsis draft and have adjusted accordingly.
- I have corrected the first sentence of the synopsis and made minor adjustments to the format in which I have written it.
- Changed simple sentences to work better, such as "The screen says" to "The text reads"
- Removed comments that aren't needed or relevant.
- Added details to the way sounds and actions are working to portray more of a tone.
- Added details to the descriptions of people and surroundings.
- Gave 'pink shirt guy' a name; Ash.
- Named 'someone' as Gary.
- Within the text, I changed -Jo to -J to hide more of his identity.
- Added an action where Ash punches Gary after his comment.
- Dale stands in the hallway, by the door.
- Added more details to make it obvious that it's a party for a birthday.
- Removed speech where someone says "Happy Birthday"
- Brought Ash back in later in the narrative.
- Added a comment from Gary to provoke Dale.
Teen boy is sitting on his bed looking at his phone. Text on screen saying "I'll be there soon baby xxx" with the words 'From Jo' visible. He stands and leaves the room. People in the living room of a house, bottles of alcohol visible, dubstep track playing in background, in this instance muffled by voices. People talking, casual party talk. Group of boys sitting around, one in a pink shirt. Someone says to him "That shirt is so Jo Thomas", others says "ooooh" in unity, pink-shirt guy is defensive, lightly punches the person on the arm as he laughs. The teen boy is now standing just in the door way, looking over at the boys. Someone calls "here Dale, grab a beer mate, happy birthday" and offers him a bottle of beer. The teen boy, now identified as Dale walks over and takes the beer. There are girls giggling and gossiping in the corner, a group of boys sitting on the sofa with beers and people socialising around the room. There is a knock at the door and Dale turns his head. Opening the door he meets another teen boy who hands him a present wrapped cleanly. Dale takes the present and smiles and offers for him to come inside, the teen takes his shoes off. The teen boy walks in ahead of Dale and the tone of the party changes almost immediately. People are still talking and appearing to have a good time, but there are hushed whispers and occasional staring. We see the teen boy look around nervously, sticking close to Dale as he socialises. Dale hands him a beer and he just holds it, looking around the room. The teen boy is obviously feeling very nervous and Dale keeps looking over, realising that this is happening. Jo takes a step towards Dale and goes to grab his arm. Someone that Dale is talking to steps forward and pushes him off.
"What do you think you're doing, fruitcake?" he taunts as a semi circle forms around them and one of the assailants friends steps forward, closing the teen boy in.
Jo, backed against a wall just looks at the ground. The assailant reaches forward and slaps him in the face and a few people look taken aback, but there is a quiet laugh in the crowd. Dale has a very shocked look on his face and has his mouth open slightly.
"What do you think you're doing, fruitcake?" he taunts as a semi circle forms around them and one of the assailants friends steps forward, closing the teen boy in.
Jo, backed against a wall just looks at the ground. The assailant reaches forward and slaps him in the face and a few people look taken aback, but there is a quiet laugh in the crowd. Dale has a very shocked look on his face and has his mouth open slightly.
"I'm talking to you, faggot, answer me!" he shouts, more aggressively. The teen boy just looks down again and whimpers. The people surrounding them laugh slightly and turn to each other smiling. Dale is taken aback, on the edge of the semi circle just staring. The teen boy turns his head to look at Dale and their eyes meet. Dale walks forward, looking rather aggressive, people are staring and not understanding what he's going to do. He pushes the assailant out of the way and the assailants friend takes a step backwards. Jo has his arms at his side and Dale grabs them. He leans in close and says "maybe you should just leave". The teen boy closes his eyes for a second and says "is that what you really want?". Dale sighs and pushes him through the door. As the teen boy bends down to put his shoes on, Dale closes his eyes and shuts the door behind them. In the background you see a girl step forward towards the assailant and have a go at him.
“Was that really necessary, you’re such an asshole, it’s not as if he’s any different, why base what you think of him on his preferences? You’d have no fucking problem with a lesbian, would you?”
Dale opens his eyes and lifts his head. He puts his hand on the teen boys shoulder, “Jo... Stay” He says softly.
The teen boy, now identified as Jo stands up and looks him in the eye. Dale grabs his hand and they walk back through the door, holding hands. They walk through the door, the room goes quiet and everyone just stares at the pair holding hands.
Monday, 8 October 2012
Film Synopsis - First Draft
Teen boy is sitting on his bed looking at his phone. Text on screen saying "I'll be there soon baby xxx" with the words 'From Jo' visible. He stands and leaves the room. People in the living room of a house, bottles of alcohol visible, dubstep track playing in background, throughout film, in this instance muffled by voices. People talking, casual party talk. Group of boys sitting around, one in a pink shirt. Someone says to him "That shirt is so Jo Thomas", others says "ooooh" in unity, pink-shirt guy is defensive, lightly punches the person on the arm as he laughs. The teen boy is now standing just in the door way, looking over at the boys. Someone calls "here Dale, grab a beer mate, happy birthday" and offers him a bottle of beer. The teen boy, now identified as Dale walks over and takes the beer. Several shots of the party with people generally having a good time. There is a knock at the door and Dale turns his head. Opening the door he meets another teen boy who jumps forward and wraps his arms around him. Dale pushes him back slightly laughing and whispers "Not now, not here". We realise this other teen boy is Jo. Dale lets Jo walk in. The tone of the party changes almost immediately, people are still talking and appearing to have a good time, but there are hushed whispers and occasional staring. We see Jo look around nervously, sticking close to Dale as he socialises. Dale hands him a beer and he just holds it, looking around the room. Jo is obviously feeling very nervous and Dale keeps looking over, realising that this is happening. Jo takes a step towards Dale and goes to grab his arm. Someone that Dale is talking to steps forward and pushes him off.
"What do you think you're doing, fruitcake?" he taunts. Dale takes a step backwards in shock and a small semi circle forms around Jo and his assailant.
Jo, backed against a wall just looks at the ground. The assailant reaches forward and slaps him in the face and a few people gasp.
"I'm talking to you, faggot, answer me!" he shouts, more aggressively. Jo just looks down again and whimpers. The people surrounding them laugh slightly and turn to each other smiling. Dale is taken aback, on the edge of the semi circle just staring. Jo turns his head to look at Dale and their eyes meet. Dale walks forward, looking rather aggressive, people are staring and not understanding what he's going to do. He pushes the assailant out of the way. Jo has his arms at his side and Dale grabs them. People are looking, unsure of what's happening, again Dale and Jo's eyes meet. There are a couple of seconds of silence and then Dale puts his head down and walks out the door, leaving everyone is a stunned silence.
"What do you think you're doing, fruitcake?" he taunts. Dale takes a step backwards in shock and a small semi circle forms around Jo and his assailant.
Jo, backed against a wall just looks at the ground. The assailant reaches forward and slaps him in the face and a few people gasp.
"I'm talking to you, faggot, answer me!" he shouts, more aggressively. Jo just looks down again and whimpers. The people surrounding them laugh slightly and turn to each other smiling. Dale is taken aback, on the edge of the semi circle just staring. Jo turns his head to look at Dale and their eyes meet. Dale walks forward, looking rather aggressive, people are staring and not understanding what he's going to do. He pushes the assailant out of the way. Jo has his arms at his side and Dale grabs them. People are looking, unsure of what's happening, again Dale and Jo's eyes meet. There are a couple of seconds of silence and then Dale puts his head down and walks out the door, leaving everyone is a stunned silence.
Story Summary - Second Draft
Following a discussion with my tutor, I have decided to edit my film synopsis and further refine the idea.
Dale is turning 17, he is a closet homosexual and has a boyfriend named Jo, who is openly gay. He is in his bedroom texting Jo and feeling nervous as Jo is attending his party. Dale goes downstairs, from his bedroom, to the front room where the guests are conversing and generally there is a good feeling to the party. There is some subtle talk of casual homophobia around the room, in a mix of other conversations. Joe arrives at the party and the tone changes slightly. There is a bit more hushed talk in the crowds and people start to stare occasionally. Jo is obviously feeling uncomfortable and looks to Dale for comfort. As he grabs Dales arm, someone pushes him off and attacks with homophobic hate speech. A small mob forms, shouting and offending him, outside the mob, people just watch and stay nothing. Dale is takes a step back in horror, people are asking him why Jo was invited. Dale takes Jo to the side and asks him to leave. As Jo leaves, you can hear cheering as the party resumes to its former tone. Dale receives a text later in the night from Jo, calling him an 'Asshole', or something along those lines.
Further ideas:
Dale is turning 17, he is a closet homosexual and has a boyfriend named Jo, who is openly gay. He is in his bedroom texting Jo and feeling nervous as Jo is attending his party. Dale goes downstairs, from his bedroom, to the front room where the guests are conversing and generally there is a good feeling to the party. There is some subtle talk of casual homophobia around the room, in a mix of other conversations. Joe arrives at the party and the tone changes slightly. There is a bit more hushed talk in the crowds and people start to stare occasionally. Jo is obviously feeling uncomfortable and looks to Dale for comfort. As he grabs Dales arm, someone pushes him off and attacks with homophobic hate speech. A small mob forms, shouting and offending him, outside the mob, people just watch and stay nothing. Dale is takes a step back in horror, people are asking him why Jo was invited. Dale takes Jo to the side and asks him to leave. As Jo leaves, you can hear cheering as the party resumes to its former tone. Dale receives a text later in the night from Jo, calling him an 'Asshole', or something along those lines.
Further ideas:
- Have a shot of just Dales arm on the floor with a bottle of beer just out of his hand and his phone laid across the floor. The words "I can't believe you did that last night, asshole" appears on the screen as a text.
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